Nathaniel Scott Barnett

Nathaniel, you are gone 5 years today. We have survived 5 years without you. Time is all messed up for us now and sometimes it seems like just a little while and sometimes it seems so long. We have made it with the help of God and the love and prayers and support of friends. You left a huge hole in our hearts that does not seem any better today than it did 5 years ago--we are just more used to dealing with it. It will be fixed some day, just not here. It will be a wonderful day when we see you again!

Love always,
Mom

Nathaniel, you would have been 22 today, this 4th of July, my little firecracker baby...It was a strange day...no grilling, too dry for fireworks...I made it through the day. You had so many people that remembered you on your Facebook sites--and that was a comfort to me. This is your 5th birthday in heaven and it just seems so unreal to me. I guess it always will.  I am really homesick for heaven. This world just seems to get worse and I believe you are in a much better place. I long to be there too, and I long to run and hug you and talk to you again, my son! Happy 4th of July and Happy Birthday, my son...


Love always,
Mom

P.S. I am sending this on the 4th of July...guess this site is in a different time zone :)
 

Nathaniel, I tried to get this posted yesterday but I know time is not of essence to you. I visited your grave yesterday; I saw a blue diesel on the highway and the remains of a jet trail in the sky while I was there, things that have meaning to me. It is my hope and comfort that I believe you are really free and in a much better place.

I worry about myself some times but maybe it is normal, these feelings I have. It is 4 years now and part of me (the hole you left in my heart) does not seem really any better at all. Maybe that is just how it is. I know there is really no explaining it to someone that hasn't been there and to others I don't have to explain at all. It is so hard. I listen to the clock tick in your bedroom lots of times, and it is a good thing, ticking away the time until you greet me with your big smile in heaven. I can't hardly wait! Four years in heaven, oh how I long to be there!

Love  always,
Mom 

Nathaniel, today is your 4th Christmas in Heaven. Part of our lives are never, ever, going to be right again. When you left, you took part of my heart with you...and that is just how it is. It is hard to explain, but for those that have been where I am, I don't have to...and to the others, I just can't write the words to tell how it is. It is surreal to bury my son :(

I miss you so much, but I believe that Heaven is a wonderful place and I cling to that...and it helps. I really long so much to see you again. Merry Christmas!

Love always, and with all my heart,
Mom 

Nathaniel, you are gone 1,234 days today--176 weeks and 2 days--It's been awful at times; I don't know how to explain it; I can't really. I just go on, though, because that is what we do. It is so hard to believe you are gone--over 3 years and life is so surreal. It is still so hard for me, but  we can do more than we think, sometimes, if we have to :( On the upside (which is how YOU would want me to see it), I am
1,234 days closer to seeing you again. I am very impatiently waiting! With all my heart, I want to see you and talk to you again!

Love and missing you always, Mom


P.S. The jet trails in the sky remind me of you...you wanted to fly and you wanted so much to be free... I believe you are now REALLY free.